Scorpy

Bluetooth DIY

2007-04-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

While in Woody's today I had to put up with some gobshite speaking VERY LOUDLY in the next aisle. He kept it up for so long that I had to go have a look. There he was, in his fifties, shouting at his wife, and what I inutially presumed to be a huge hearing aid. Not so, this guy was walking around Woody's with a bluetooth hands free in his ear. Oh God. Look, if you ever catch your parents doing this please give them a good kick in the arse. Maybe he was getting updates on the price of paint from mates in Atlantic and B&Q,

Ballybunion children terrorising community

2007-04-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

Locals in Ballybunion are not pleased to have to clean up the children's playground after 'revellers' last weekend. So they are whinging to the council. Instead of insisting that children who insist on leaving their used beer cans, fag-butts, condoms and so forth, the detritus of youth, take their rubbish home, or get their arses kicked.

Source: http://www.unison.ie/kerryman/stories.php3?ca=34&si=1810852&issue_id=15495

Psychopath on the loose warning

2007-03-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

This is a warning.

The psychopath Michael O'Neill is to be released from prison on May 17th. This thug is liable to kill anyone whom he wants, and should be avoided at all costs.

Source: http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/ireland/2007/0308/1173121318814.html

Kevin Wade, Rialto - a coward and a liar

2007-03-07T23:42:00.000-08:00

Kevin Wade, hang him high. This cancer must be cut out.

Source: http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/ireland/2007/0308/1173121320786.html

So rude!

2007-03-05T12:54:00.000-08:00

I noticed today while exiting the Whitewater Complex Newbridge carpark, that the machine declares "Please insert ticket!". Why the superfluous exclamation? If you intend to shout, why use the word 'please'? Is it your way of saying "Have a nice day"?

Has anybody else noticed any other strange signs in Ireland?

Alan Counihan

2007-02-14T23:43:00.000-08:00

This from today's IT, fantastic...

Madam, - I heard the Tánaiste on Tuesday's Morning Irelanddescribing the political party of which he is leader as "a Ronseal Party. It does what it says on the tin".
I have such a tin to hand. The legend on its side informs me that the contents are ultra-tough and impart a deep gloss to wooden material. They are, however, very toxic and contain a high percentage of volatile compounds. Prolonged contact is not recommended.
In cases of extended exposure immediate washing with plenty of soap and water is advised. Above all, they should be kept out of the reach of children. - Yours etc,
ALAN COUNIHAN, Tullabrin, Johnswell, Co Kilkenny.

Source: http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/letters/2007/0215/index.html

2007-02-13T23:40:00.000-08:00

Ahern claimed yesterday that there is not serious drug-taking countrywide.

"I do not believe that we should be attempting to say that it is [going on] in every village, community and locality in the country, and that there is rampant and serious drug-taking, because there is not."

Oh wake up, get out of your helicopter and smell the smack.

Source: http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/ireland/2007/0214/1170364437465.html

Don Bullman

2007-02-13T23:37:00.000-08:00

Don Bullman, full of bull.

Source: http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/ireland/2007/0214/1170364437279.html

Chris Gavin

2007-02-13T23:22:00.000-08:00

Pause to consider the case of Chris Gavin, a teacher in Deansrath Community College, Clondalkin, who had his nose broken by a pupil last Friday.

The pupil deserves to get his head kicked in.

What sort of society have we got when teachers, there to help people, have to work with such low ill-disciplined thugs? Things have gone too far, and I hope that this thug gets the punishment due to him.

Scorpy

Source: http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/ireland/2007/0214/1170364437412.html

2007-02-05T11:11:00.000-08:00

Seems like the truth is about to break. The news from Hollywood is that character 'impersonators' have been misbehaving.

The real shock will come when the 'impersonators' are unmasked as the characters they portray. It is a hard time for superheroes.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070205/od_nm/chewbacca_dc;_ylt=Al_mhfpmVqPDGzw3AZ.DfqTMWM0F;_ylu=X3oDMTA3NW1oMDRpBHNlYwM3NTc-

NFL Opening Weekend

2007-02-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

A good game of football today that could have been a very good game, were it not for the unnecessarily interference of Maurice Deegan, the referee. Mayo beat the Kingdom 1-11 to 0-11, their first victory over the Kerrymen since 1996.

It was, for the most part, a clean game of football, with both teams gaining in confidence in the second half. Deegan's habit of stopping play every couple of minutes, however, meant that one could have been forgiven that this was the NFL on the other side of the ocean, as the constant stopping of play meant that the game only got flowing in the final ten minutes.

In minute 37 I remarked that the ref seemed to have given most players a yellow card, and smirked that Gooch (who along with Mike Frank Russell is as clean as a colon after a jar of jalapenos) had yet to get one. Deegan must have heard me, for a minute later, and why I don't know, the Dr. Crokes man was laughing in disbelief as he received his warning.

What Deegan would have done if the original bruisers, the Jackeens of the seventies, such as Kieran Duff, had been on the pitch, well...

Speaking of Croker in the seventies, good to see that Pat Spillane is back in the green and gold, sporting the number 22.